Today I woke up at 9.30 am. Then I had a peanut butter chocolate chip cookie and an M&M chocolate chip cookie for breakfast. I starred at my books but picked up my computer instead and aimlessly surfed the internet for 1.5 hours. And now here I am. You might think this is purely a description of my day so far (as, I understand, is something people do on blogs sometimes). But no, this is me describing how a day, so full of promises at 6.50 am this morning when husband woke up, quickly turned into something, shall we say, less desirable. My aim is to wake up with A, have breakfast with him, spend some quite time together, and then start my day of studying (without any procrastination such as instagramming). This is the goal. Now I don’t always stay in bed until 9.30, I usually manage to get up at about 8-8.30, then have breakfast (usually something more nutritious than a cookie) and then I start to get things done (and by this I mean, slowly read or write an article whilst I do other things such as instagram). So I guess you could say today was particularly bad. My question though – how does it get this bad? I know I hate it, so why do I let it happen? Do I really need to sleep 9-10 hours a night? Could that possible be normal for a 25 year old? Because I really do believe it all boils down to my sleeping habits. On the rare occasions that I DO get up “early”, good things usually follow. Contrary, when I don’t get up until late, the day easily takes a wrong turn and that’s when cookies and internet and PJs all day happen.
I was hoping this year would be different. I was starting to believe this year would be different. It’s my final year. My Master year. The important year. But I freeze when I get overwhelmed. When I think about other things in life that I consider more important than my studies. When I feel lonely or useless (which I can’t help feeling sometimes, regardless of the love family and friends shower me with).
I guess I think too much. Analyze things too much. Feel too much. Wonder too much. Worry too much.
How do you “get yourself together”? How do you “just do it”? Or is it normal to have these kind of days ever so often?
YOU PUT THIS LOVE IN MY HEART 